Nurturing Leadership in Children with Autism A Practical Parent’s Guide

Parents of children with autism often hear a lot about support needs, but far less about leadership qualities in children, the strengths that help them influence, advocate, and contribute. The tension is real: early childhood development can come with communication differences, rigidity, or sensory overwhelm that makes “take charge” moments look different than most people expect. Leadership for autistic kids may show up in small, everyday ways like making a choice, sticking with a plan, or guiding play around a special interest. With the right autism parenting strategies, nurturing leadership skills can start now and grow into self-confidence that lasts.

At-Home Moves to Grow Leadership This Week

Leadership for many autistic kids shows up in small, everyday moments, starting a task, speaking up respectfully, taking a turn, or recovering from a mismatch. Try these seven at-home moves this week to build those “real life” skills in ways that often fit how autistic children learn best.

  1. Lead by example with one visible “leader habit”: Pick one habit you want your child to copy, using a calm voice, sticking to a plan, or admitting a mistake, and narrate it out loud once a day. Keep your words concrete: “I’m frustrated, so I’m taking three breaths, then I’ll try again.” When kids can see what leadership looks like under stress, it becomes a script they can borrow.
  2. Encourage independence with a 2-step “try first” routine: Choose one daily task your child is close to doing alone (packing a backpack, getting a snack, feeding a pet). Agree on: (1) try for two minutes, (2) then ask for a specific kind of help (“Can you show me the first step?”). Many kids do better with direct instructions, and clear and simple directions help students with autism process instructions easily, which also reduces power struggles.
  3. Set one micro-goal using a simple “When–Then” plan: Keep goal setting for children with autism short and measurable: “When it’s 4:00, then I do 5 minutes of homework,” or “When we get home, then I put shoes in the bin.” Track progress for five days with checkmarks, not long conversations. If your child likes visuals, sketch a tiny goal ladder with 3 rungs so they can see success.
  4. Teach cooperation skills with structured roles: Pick a 10-minute shared job (making lunch, tidying a play area, setting the table) and assign clear roles: “You’re the sorter, I’m the put-away person.” Switch roles halfway through so your child practices flexibility and perspective-taking. Cooperation is easier when expectations are concrete and time-limited.
  5. Build responsibility and accountability with “job + proof”: Give one leadership job that matters to the family (water plants, start laundry, check the mail) and define what “done” looks like. Add a simple proof step: a photo, an item placed in a bin, or a quick verbal report. Follow through kindly but consistently, if the job isn’t done, pause a privilege until it is, then reset without lectures.
  6. Practice decision making with two good options: Offer choices that you can genuinely accept: “Do you want to start with math or reading?” or “Blue cup or green cup?” After the choice, reflect on the skill: “You decided fast, that’s leadership.” Over time, move from small choices to planning choices, like picking the order of weekend errands.
  7. Coach conflict resolution using a repeatable script: Teach one short script and rehearse it when everyone is calm: “Stop. I don’t like that. I need __. Can we __?” Role-play common flash points, siblings touching toys, losing a game, being interrupted, so your child has words ready when emotions spike. Keep your coaching direct and specific so your child can trust what you say and use it under pressure.

Model Leadership at Home With Language Kids Can Trust

Those at-home leadership moves land even better when your child can see what steady effort and follow-through look like in real life. One powerful way to model leadership is to let your child watch you pursue a meaningful goal, work hard in small steps, and keep your commitments, especially when life is busy. 

For example, a parent who goes back to school for a degree while juggling family routines is quietly demonstrating planning, persistence, and responsibility. When you sit down to study after bedtime, keep a promise to finish an assignment, or talk calmly about why you’re sticking with it, you show that leadership isn’t loud, it’s reliable. 

Choosing a flexible online university option designed for working adults can make this kind of role modeling realistic, because you can fit coursework around therapy appointments, work schedules, and home life rather than turning everything upside down. If you’re curious what that kind of path can look like, a master’s in educational leadership online is one example of a structured way to deepen your own leadership skills while still being present at home.

Leadership Questions Parents Ask Most Often

Q: What does “leadership” look like for a child with autism?
A: It can be as simple as making a choice, finishing a small job, or asking for help in a clear way. Think “influence and responsibility,” not “being the loudest.” Start by naming the skill you saw: “You noticed a problem and fixed it.”

Q: How can I teach leadership if my child gets anxious around groups?
A: Begin with low-stakes roles at home, like timekeeper, snack helper, or choosing the order of errands. Practice the script first, then try it with one trusted person before a bigger setting. Keep the goal tiny: participation, not performance.

Q: How do I handle rigid thinking without turning it into a power struggle?
A: Offer two acceptable options and preview changes early using clear, concrete language. Validate the need for predictability, then coach flexibility with “Plan A and Plan B.” Praise any small “try” even if it is not perfect.

Q: Can rewards backfire or feel like bribery?
A: Used well, rewards teach, not control. A positive reinforcement technique builds a behavior by recognizing it right after it happens, so your child connects effort to outcome. Keep rewards brief, specific, and tied to a leadership action like taking turns or finishing a task.

Q: When my child struggles socially, can they still be a leader?
A: Yes, leadership can be quiet and skill-based, like being the “expert” on a topic or helping with a routine. Pair your child with one peer who shares an interest, and give them a simple job to do together. Celebrate cooperation more than eye contact or small talk.

Daily Leadership-Building Habits at Home

Leadership grows through repetition, not big speeches. These habits fit into daily life so your child practices responsibility, communication, and flexibility in ways that feel safe and doable.

Two-Choice Check-In
  • What it is: Offer two acceptable options and let your child pick.
  • How often: Daily
  • Why it helps: It builds decision-making without overwhelming them.
Micro-Job With a Clear Finish
  • What it is: Assign one short task with a visual “done” step.
  • How often: Daily
  • Why it helps: Completing responsibilities boosts confidence and follow-through.
Name the Leadership You Notice
Weekly Progress Snapshot
  • What it is: Track one leadership goal on a simple checklist together.
  • How often: Weekly
  • Why it helps: Monitoring goal progress keeps growth visible and motivating.
Plan B Practice
  • What it is: Rehearse a small “if-then” for one routine change.
  • How often: 2 to 3 times weekly
  • Why it helps: It strengthens flexibility while keeping expectations predictable.

Celebrate Progress While Building Leadership Skills That Last

Raising a child with autism can make “leadership” feel like one more big expectation on top of daily needs and routines. The steadier path is the mindset you’ve been practicing: small choices, reflection, and specific praise, paired with parental encouragement and ongoing support strategies that fit real life. Over time, celebrating progress builds confidence, self-advocacy, and long-term leadership development, and the impact of leadership skills shows up in school, friendships, and future independence. Leadership grows when children feel capable, supported, and seen. 

Helping Your Autistic Child Thrive with Gentle Arts and Faith-Based Support

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

Mothers raising autistic children and other parents of special needs children often carry a quiet, exhausting question: how to invite creativity and connection when sensory sensitivities in autism can turn “fun” activities into shutdowns or meltdowns. Between school pressures, therapies, and the loneliness of always having to explain, arts engagement for children with learning disabilities can feel like one more place to fail. Yet art doesn’t have to be loud, messy, or performance-based to matter. When approached gently and with faith-informed steadiness, emotional connection through art can become a safe language for children whose words, attention, or regulation don’t follow the usual rules.

Quick Summary for Busy Parents

  • Use gentle arts like painting, music, and movement to support learning disabilities through sensory and communication growth.
  • Choose painting activities to build sensory development and fine motor skills in a low pressure, child-led way.
  • Use music therapy approaches to support special needs through rhythm, emotional regulation, and connection.
  • Use simple parent strategies to spark creative expression in autism and make arts involvement doable this week.

Understanding Why Gentle Arts Help Your Child Grow

A simple way to think about arts-based support is this: art gives your child a safe “practice space” for thinking, feeling, and connecting. The research-backed “why” is that creating, moving, singing, or acting can support learning and self-regulation while also inviting creativity and calm.

This matters because your child’s progress is not only academic. It is also about peace in your home, fewer emotional blowups, and small wins in communication that you can thank God for. Evidence shows at-home arts engagement links with social-emotional attributes and cognitive outcomes.

Picture a rough afternoon: instead of pushing conversation, you offer five minutes of drawing while you sit nearby and pray quietly. Keep the plan simple, one art at a time, and lean on one organized, step-by-step outside resource to stay consistent, such as ZenBusiness.

Try This at Home: Painting, Music, Dance, Crafting, Theater, Clay

Gentle arts work best when they’re predictable, sensory-aware, and connected to your child’s strengths, so the activity feels safe enough for growth. Use these ideas to build a simple “small and steady” plan you can repeat weekly.

  1. Painting with a “controlled choice” setup: Offer two paint tools and two colors, then let your child choose, this lowers decision fatigue while still supporting autonomy. Try painting techniques for autistic children like tape-resist (straight lines feel “organized”), sponge dabbing (less slippery than brushes), or painting inside cookie cutters for clear boundaries. If wet textures are hard, start with dry media (oil pastels) and move toward paint only after success.
  2. Music with predictable patterns and a stop signal: Start with a 3-song routine at the same time of day, hello song, movement song, calming song, to build the comforting structure many autistic kids thrive on. Use music engagement strategies like call-and-response clapping, echoing one rhythm, or taking turns with a single instrument to practice shared attention. Agree on a “stop” cue (hand up, pause card, or a short prayer like “Peace, please”) so your child learns control without a power struggle.
  3. Dance in short “burst-and-rest” rounds: Use 2 minutes of movement plus 1 minute of rest for three rounds; this prevents overload while still giving the body the input it’s seeking. Follow-your-leader steps, mirror games, or marching to a steady beat can improve body awareness and connection without demanding complex choreography. Evidence suggests the DMP intervention had stronger effects on social and communication aspects, so keep it relational, make eye contact optional and focus on turn-taking.
  4. Crafting for fine motor skills with “one new demand”: Pick a familiar base activity (gluing, stickers, simple weaving) and add just one stretch skill, like using child-safe scissors for 5 snips or pinching small pieces of paper to strengthen pincer grasp. Set up a left-to-right tray system: “To Do,” “Doing,” “Done,” so your child can see progress. For sensory comfort, offer a tool option (tweezers instead of fingers, glue stick instead of liquid glue).
  5. Theater for social interaction through scripts that feel safe: Start with “role cards” using daily situations your child already knows, ordering food, greeting a neighbor, asking to join a game, and practice the same 2–3 lines each time. Keep roles short (10–30 seconds), then gradually add a partner or a simple prop to stretch flexibility. Programs like The Miracle Project highlight how structured performance can support confidence and friendship skills; at home, you’re aiming for the same thing in mini form.
  6. Clay and sculpting to enhance focus with a “hands-first” routine: Begin with heavy-work input, 10 firm squeezes, 10 rolls, 10 pushes, before you ask for a “make something” task; this can organize the body and lengthen attention. Offer a simple target like “make three balls” or “build a small wall,” then praise the process (“You kept your hands working”) more than the product. If your child resists the mess, use a mat, hand wipes beside them, and a clear finish ritual: smooth the clay, store it, wash hands, done.

Choose one art to repeat for two weeks before adding another, and keep notes on what soothed, what irritated, and what helped connection, those details will guide smart choices about sensory needs, programs, and confidence-building.

Common Questions, Gentle Answers

Q: What are some effective ways to introduce different types of art to children with learning disabilities while respecting their sensory sensitivities?
A: Start with one art form and keep the first session short, familiar, and optional. Use sensory “previewing” by letting your child look, smell, or touch tools for a few seconds before the activity begins. A clear sensory overload definition can guide you to lower noise, light, mess, and choices.

Q: How can engaging in activities like music, painting, or dance help reduce feelings of loneliness and improve emotional well-being for special needs children?
A: Shared art gives your child a safe way to connect without heavy conversation, which can ease isolation. Try “together but side-by-side” creativity, then add small moments of turn-taking or showing their work. A simple faith practice like a one-sentence gratitude prayer can help your child name comfort and belonging.

Q: What strategies can parents use to create a calm and structured environment that helps their child focus and enjoy artistic activities?
A: Choose a consistent time, a consistent spot, and a short start and finish ritual so your child knows what will happen. Use a visual mini-schedule with 3 steps and include a planned break before frustration shows up. When uncertainty rises, keep your voice low, reduce instructions, and return to one doable step.

Q: How can involving the whole family in art projects support both the child’s development and the parents’ need for connection and support?
A: Family art builds a shared language of encouragement, so your child gets more practice with patience, flexibility, and gentle social skills. Give each person a simple role like holding tape, choosing colors, or taking photos to prevent chaos. If you feel alone in the journey, it helps to remember many parents report a need for closer follow-up after diagnosis, so asking for help is wise, not weak.

Q: If I want to turn my child’s interest in arts and crafts into a small home-based activity or business, where can I find straightforward guidance and trusted resources to help me get started?
A: Begin by keeping the goal supportive rather than profit-first, such as selling a small set of finished pieces a few times a year. Look for plain-language, step-by-step small business resources through local libraries, community education programs, and government small business portals. Keep your child’s needs central by limiting deadlines, protecting rest, and choosing tasks they genuinely enjoy.

Gentle Arts and Faith Habits for Every Week

Habits matter because they reduce decision fatigue and make creativity feel safe, not stressful. Over time, these steady practices help you pair gentle arts with simple faith support, so you can guide your child with confidence and compassion.

Three-Step Creative Rhythm
  • What it is: Open, create, and close with the same three predictable steps.
  • How often: 3 times weekly
  • Why it helps: Predictability lowers anxiety and makes starting easier.
Sensory-Friendly Art Bin
  • What it is: Keep a small bin with two tools and one familiar texture.
  • How often: Weekly reset
  • Why it helps: Fewer options reduce overwhelm and cleanup conflict.
Side-by-Side Making Time
  • What it is: Sit together and create separately with minimal talking.
  • How often: Daily, 10 minutes
  • Why it helps: Connection grows without social pressure.
Prayer Plus One Feeling
  • What it is: Pray one sentence, then name one feeling with a color.
  • How often: Daily, after art
  • Why it helps: Faith and emotional language become linked and usable.
Family Roles for Calm Sessions
  • What it is: Assign simple roles, then follow a timer for turns.
  • How often: Weekly
  • Why it helps: More support fits the need for comprehensive family support.

Sustaining Hope Through One Gentle, Inclusive Arts Routine

Parenting a child with autism can feel like a constant balance between meeting real needs and protecting everyone’s energy. A gentle, faith-informed approach, using arts as therapeutic tools and as connection, keeps the focus on steady support rather than perfect outcomes, empowering parents through arts that fit the child in front of them. Over time, the long-term benefits of creative engagement often show up as improved regulation, shared communication, and more peaceful family rhythms, even when progress is uneven. Small, repeated creative moments build safety, skills, and hope. Choose one inclusive arts experience to try this week and repeat it long enough to refine what helps. This is hopeful parenting with special needs children because stability grows through consistent, nurturing practice.

“Why limited-edition parents are inclined to write about their experiences and insights.”

I know that it may sound silly, but I feel calling our children “limited edition” is a fun way to express how unique and special they are to us. It’s like they’re one-of-a-kind treasures that we get to cherish every day. Of course having this collectable mindset about children can be seen as materialistic and objectifying, but I truly believe it comes from a place of love and appreciation for their individuality. But unlike having a collectible item, having a collectible child is a lifelong responsibility and privilege. It also comes with gray hair and wrinkles from all the stress and worry that we have for our children. We worry immensely about what will happen to our children when we are gone. The sad fact is that many of us have health problems of our own, and we put our children first. We neglect our own care. I have found that journaling and sharing my experience helps at times. It is important to take care of ourselves so that we can be there for our children in the long run.

Other parents and caregivers turn this into poetry and storytelling. When in the realm of poetry and storytelling, the emotions run deep, often delving into the complexities of mental health struggles such as depression and anxiety. These poems provide a raw and honest exploration of these internal battles, offering solace and understanding to those who may be experiencing similar feelings. and personal experiences are often expressed with raw honesty. Poems about depression and anxiety offer a powerful insight into the internal struggles and turmoil faced by individuals battling mental health issues. Through vivid imagery and poignant words, these poems explore the complexities of mental illness and provide a platform for catharsis (the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions). The idea is to form an understanding for the people reading. Lately for me that is a sense of loneliness and isolation that seems impossible to break free from. It is not the absence of others, but the feeling of being disconnected even while surrounded by people. It is the absence of understanding, connection, or belonging. I am talking about craving genuine human connection and intimacy.

You can sit at a crowded table and still feel invisible. Sometimes, being in a crowd only makes it worse to feel truly invisible or unheard. It’s not physical proximity that dispels loneliness, but emotional resonance—someone who listens, understands, and accepts you as you are.

Loneliness often whispers in moments when our true selves go unnoticed, our emotions are unshared, and our dreams are unspoken. It’s a quiet reminder that company and connection are not the same thing.

The journey out of loneliness isn’t always about seeking more people. Sometimes, it’s about seeking the right people—or, in some cases, learning to find comfort and meaning in your own company.

Loneliness can be a powerful teacher, forcing us to confront our own insecurities and vulnerabilities. It challenges us to become more self-aware, to understand our own needs and desires, and to cultivate a sense of inner peace and contentment. In a world that often values external validation and social approval, learning to be comfortable in our own skin can be a radical act of self-love. It is a journey that requires courage, patience, and resilience but ultimately leads to a deeper sense of connection and fulfillment.

Writing about intensely positive emotional experiences can lead to physical health benefits and enhanced psychological well-being. Research has shown that focusing on positive aspects, such as writing about the best possible future selves, can have similar health benefits as writing about trauma. This type of writing allows individuals to gain insight into their priorities and emotions, leading to improved self-regulation and overall well-being (Chad& Laura 2004). A wise man once told me and he says it almost exactly how I want to express it to the world. I did not choose this life– but I’ve learned to love it in ways I never expected. Being a special needs parent means living in a world that not everyone understands. It is celebrating milestones that others might overlook, finding joy in the smallest victories, and learning patience on a level most people never have to reach. There are days fill with exhaustion, questions, and quiet tears- but there are also moments of pure, unmatched love that make everything feel worth it. Moments that remind me that my child is not “less than”- just beautifully different. Autism, in particular, has taught me to slow down, to see the world through a different lens. To communicate beyond words, and to love without conditions. My faith has also been my anchor. On the days I don’t understand the “why,” I lean into the belief that there is a purpose in this journey. That I was chosen for this path for a reason, even when it feels heavy.

Chad, & Laura. (2004). Journal of research in personality 38 no. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0092656603000588

Temperance and Reflection

One of the things that I have been learning recently is about delighting in God’s gifts without excess. This is an important lesson in finding true joy and contentment in life. It is so easy to get caught up in the pursuit of material possessions and worldly pleasures, but true happiness comes from appreciating the simple blessings that God has given us. By practicing gratitude and moderation, we can experience a deeper sense of fulfillment and peace. It is a reminder to focus on what truly matters and to find joy in the beauty of each moment. discusses the virtue of temperance as a means to achieve true peace and satisfaction, contrasting it with the modern pursuit of “more.” Temperance is defined not as rigid restraint but as ordering desires to allow freedom to love God and others, aligning body, mind, and spirit with God’s plan. You may ask some ways that we can practice temperance. I have found that journal prompts can help me get the thought process going. This helps me notice where my life seems out of place, and it also can help me think about areas that I have weaknesses in. This way, I can actively work on improving my self-control and decision-making skills.

Faith and Family: Navigating Special Needs Parenting

These sources collectively address the challenges and supports for Christian families raising children with disabilities. They highlight the emotional, spiritual, and practical difficulties faced by parents, including grief, loneliness, and the demanding nature of 24/7 care. The texts emphasize the role of faith and community in building resilience, offering spiritual encouragement through scripture, and fostering supportive relationships. Furthermore, they discuss disability theology as an academic field that promotes inclusion, challenges societal stigmas, and redefines concepts of perfection and purpose within a Christian framework, advocating for practical adaptations and genuine friendships within church settings.

Sadly, on this topic of inclusion in religious settings, I have a personal experience. You see, I was a student in a teacher’s education program, so I decided I would help with the younger youth group and later the vacation Bible school. In doing this I discovered that the pastor and former teacher and current preschool director did not have autism or behavioral issues. She felt that the best way to handle these children was to yell at them. I had even seen these children be judged and treated unfairly. That is not the worst part; it was not only her but also the family members of the other pastors. Well, autism and intellectual issues run in my family, so I then got the realization that I needed to speak out against discrimination and injustice. I was given the opportunity to have a group of children that had my 2 younger family members around. The one girl suffers sensory overload and mood dysregulation as part of her autism. From me having two children with the same issues, I was able to provide support and understanding to help her navigate the challenges she faces. Because I was often leaving my group with the other leaders to help her, I got evil looks and whispers behind my back. It was hurtful to see my dedication to helping her be met with judgment and negativity. Especially from pastors, I never expected my efforts to be met with such hostility from the people I thought were my friends. Of course I brought this up to her mom, and she said sadly this is what she experiences. at the church all the time with all the special needs people. While it is commendable that you provided support to a child in need, it is important to consider the impact on the rest of the group and ensure that your attention is balanced. It is also worth addressing any concerns or misunderstandings with the other leaders directly rather than assuming their motives.

What to Consider When House Hunting With an Autistic Child

Moving is never just moving. For families with autistic children, it can be a high-stakes decision loaded with unseen variables. Every space you tour, every floor plan you scroll through—each one holds the potential to either soothe or overstimulate. You’re not just looking for square footage or curb appeal. You’re searching for a home that can absorb meltdowns without echoing them, encourage independence without risk, and give your child space to be exactly who they are.
Location and Community Fit
Where you live affects more than your commute—it reshapes your child’s daily rhythm. A strong local network can offer vital emotional and educational support. It’s worth researching whether area schools integrate sensory accommodations and whether therapists, respite providers, or advocacy groups are nearby. Neighborhood pace matters too: a quiet street with minimal traffic can offer calm predictability after overwhelming days. Don’t just think about where you want to live—consider how it will feel for your child every morning and every evening.
Layout and Sensory Flow
Open floor plans might look impressive online, but they often blur boundaries in a way that overwhelms. Defined rooms with visual structure tend to support better transitions and lower anxiety. Kids on the spectrum benefit from cues—walls that say “this is where we eat” or “this is where we rest.” If you’re considering a new build or light remodel, explore ideas for sensory-friendly home design that prioritize function over flair. Think predictable layouts, quiet materials, and enough separation between high-energy and low-sensory zones.
Preventing Disruptions to Routine
Unexpected noise or temperature changes can spark sensory distress in a child who depends on routine. A sudden loss of heat in winter or a plumbing issue midweek doesn’t just create inconvenience—it can unravel the structure that keeps your household regulated. Investing in home warranty plans that cover essential systems like heating, cooling, and plumbing can reduce the risk of these disruptions. Predictability isn’t just a preference—it’s a safeguard. Supporting it means protecting more than comfort—it means protecting peace.
Safety and Secure Features
Elopement and wandering aren’t abstract fears—they’re real and terrifying. When house hunting, look closely at door locks, fencing, and line-of-sight throughout the home. Is the yard enclosed? Can you hear the front door from the kitchen? You’re not being overly cautious—you’re planning ahead for peace of mind.

Interior Details That Support Regulation
Wall color can escalate a meltdown. Flooring can either buffer footsteps or amplify every sound. Lighting—too harsh, too cold—can tip an already overstimulated brain into shutdown. Think soft, dimmable lights, closed storage, and quiet materials like fabric or cork. A home that supports regulation doesn’t have to be sterile—it just needs to offer control and consistency.
Preparing for the Move Itself
No matter how great the new home is, change will still be hard. Visual schedules, countdown calendars, and preview visits can help reduce uncertainty. If your child uses communication devices or support aides, introduce them to new spaces through pictures or videos first. Keep a few familiar routines the same throughout the transition—bedtime rituals, morning songs, or the same breakfast setup. The home may change, but their world doesn’t have to flip all at once.
Creating Safe Retreats Within the Home
Once you’ve moved in, focus on one room: the quiet one. This space doesn’t need to be big or expensive—it just needs to feel safe. Soft textures, lower lighting, headphones nearby, favorite books or items close at hand. This room becomes the decompression chamber, the fallback when the rest of the world feels too much. In a busy house, a designated calm space is a way of saying: “Here, you don’t have to mask.”
Post-Move Clarity and Flow
Once the boxes are unpacked, what stays out matters more than what’s in storage. A cluttered home can overwhelm children with autism by introducing visual noise and unpredictability. Before adding new furniture, toys, or gadgets, ask whether there’s space—or what should be removed to make space. When you organize your home with intention, you create a visual rhythm your child can rely on. It’s not about minimalism—it’s about giving their brain a break.
Buying a home for a neurodiverse family isn’t about checking boxes. It’s about anticipating friction and designing around it before it starts. You’re not just giving your child a place to live—you’re shaping the way they experience stability, privacy, independence, and sensory peace. With the right considerations, your new home becomes more than a house. It becomes an anchor, a comfort, and—over time—a true refuge.
Discover a wealth of resources and heartfelt stories at Autism Parenting Lifestyle to support your journey as a special needs parent and find the community and guidance you need.

Expression

If we are the answers to the ways we travel, why do we have to seek comfort in our pain? Well, we have been given free will. Do you not love this fact? Not all of us have seen the light at the end of the tunnel or the big picture, but that doesn’t mean we should stop searching for it. I admit it can be difficult to find hope in the midst of darkness, but it is always worth the effort. It also can be hard to see the big picture in our lives. It’s even harder to find the needed support, especially as a special needs/autism parent. What can make this even harder is when the significant other or close family members do not understand or support the challenges faced. When you are not all on the same page with handling the emotional needs of the children. The parent that is most understanding, patient, and willing to change. The ones that are willing to try new things are also burdened with difficult health issues and emotional needs of their own.

Biggest influences in Life

Who are the biggest influences in your life?

The first biggest influence in my life would have to be my mom, she was my best friend till her death when I was 7 years old. She taught me in those short years I had with her how to be a decent human, to see no differences in the people around me. She gave me my love and passion to work with special needs people. She also gave me the want to work in healthcare for many years before the pandemic started and working in a nursing home became too much. Nowadays I find myself working with all grades in my local school district. For instance, I remember the love and care she took with the people that were different in our church. She showed me that though some of the children in my church looked different or something about them, like a girl that had no eyes, looked scary, she was no different than anyone else. The girl just needed someone to show her kindness and help her get around unfamiliar places. She introduced me to children of different abilities and backgrounds, teaching me the importance of empathy and inclusivity at a young age. This experience not only shaped my career path in healthcare but also inspired me to become an advocate for inclusive education within my school district. However, it is important to note that not all individuals with disabilities or different abilities receive the same level of support and inclusivity. In some school districts, there may still be a lack of resources and accommodations for students with special needs, hindering their educational opportunities. This can lead to exclusion and limited access to quality education, contradicting the idea of inclusive education.

I also have fond memories of taking care of my grandma’s employer’s service dog. Though I do not remember being taught how to interact with other service animals, I somehow always knew that if a dog had a vest on you, let them alone. It was not until later that I learned about the importance of service animals and the role they play in assisting individuals with disabilities. Service animals are trained to perform specific tasks that help their owners navigate their daily lives. They are not pets but rather highly trained companions that provide vital support and independence. It is crucial for society to understand and respect the presence of service animals, ensuring that individuals with disabilities can fully participate and be included in all aspects of life.

Conceptulizing Autism

Autism disorder was not known until different medical practitioners made various contributions from their interaction with autistic children. The history of autism is widely stated to have begun in the 1930s, and research continued as more practitioners took an interest in the condition. According to Zeldovich (2018), the main contributors to understanding the autistic spectrum disorder are Hans Asperger and Leo Kanner, who described the condition in 1938 and 1943, respectively. However, little is known about Grunya Efimovna Sukhareva, who was the earliest medical practitioner to define the autistic spectrum in 1925 (Zeldovich, 2018). Even though there has been a lot of research on autism, Sukhareva was one of the first doctors who helped figure out what autism was and added to what we know about it today.

History of Autism

The history of autism is largely attributed to Hans Asperger and Leo Kanner because of their immense contribution to understanding the characteristics associated with the condition. For instance, the study of the condition by Leo Kanner led to the coining of the name Kanner syndrome, which is used to describe children with a profound inability to form good relationships with others. On the other hand, based on his extensive study of psychological characteristics, Hans Asperger termed autism Asperger syndrome. Even though the two scholars were very important to understanding autism, many people did not know that Grunya Efimovna Sukhareva was one of the first people to study the subject.

Sukhareva was able to learn about autism because of her vast experience as a child psychiatrist. Zeldovich (2018) argues that Sukhareva was a child psychiatrist from the Soviet Union who managed to identify the symptoms associated with autism and provided a detailed account in 1925. However, her work is barely recognized beyond Russia despite playing an important role in promoting the understanding of the condition from an early age. Zeldovich (2018) adds that the suppression of her work as a child psychiatrist was influenced by the perception that was widely spread at the time of being anti-Marxist, which was indirectly viewed as being in support of the capitalists. Through extensive involvement with children with psychological and developmental problems, Sukhareva was able to establish different characteristics used to understand autism. Consequently, the conceptualization of the conditions made it easy to expound on the knowledge by other scholars.

Contribution of Sukhareva

Sukhareva was born in the former USSR, or modern-day Russia. Zeldovich (2018) notes that Sukhareva was born in 1891 to a caring family of Chaim Faitelevich and Rakhila Iosifovna. After her graduation in 1915, she started working at the same medical institute, Kyiv Medical Institute, in the Epidemiological unit. After serving the medical institution and the country in different capacities, including being a chief child psychiatrist, Sukhareva later decided to open a school to provide educational opportunities to children with psychiatric problems. Her efforts in the field of psychiatry were acknowledged in Russia, whereby she served in different capacities. However, this success came with extensive criticism from other parties and colleagues in the USSR. She served as director of the Institute of Psychiatry in the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic (RSFSR).

It is because of her strong background in dealing with children with different psychological conditions that she was able to realize the varying symptoms exhibited by children with autism. She argued that autism was contributed to by diverse factors, including toxins and trauma a position she supported based on her study on children in Germany. Through her interaction and study of the psychology of children, Sukhareva was able to establish the different developmental problems among children. Her major discovery was schizoid personality disorder, which is today termed autism. Sukhareva discovered that children with SPD struggled to form social-emotional connections with others. Although her discovery required additional study to understand all the symptoms associated with autism, her publication laid a strong foundation for understanding the problem of autism.

Contribution to Modern Research

Unlike the description provided by Sukhareva in the past, the research on ASD has taken deeper research. However, Sukhareva made a considerable contribution to modern-day research on the disorder. Firstly, Sukhareva attempted to classify autism by using schizoid personality disorder among children. She argued that the disorder affects how children interact with others and how it impacts their ability to establish sound relationships with others. Although the categorization by Sukhareva was not adequate enough to present the problem of autism, it presented a good basis for understanding the condition. Harris (2022) predicts that autism is a complicated condition that involves diverse complications, such as social and emotional inabilities. So, Sukhareva was able to come up with a good way to think about the condition because of the papers she wrote about it in the 1920s.

There are different ways in which schizoid personality disorder is similar to autism. Askham (2022) points out that both autism and schizoid personality disorder show that both children have a social and emotional deficit, which hinders their ability to relate with other people. However, to understand the difference between schizoid personality disorder and autism, the analysis of autism should go beyond the social-emotional detachment of a child to other factors such as the functioning of the five senses, delayed developmental milestones, and challenges with both verbal and non-verbal communication (Askham, 2022). Children with autism experience challenges in their everyday lives, from communicating with others and establishing good social relations. In this regard, Sukhareva provided a starting point that helps researchers to understand more about ASD in society today.

ASD patients exhibit additional symptoms, which put them in a different position compared to patients with other disorders such as schizoid personality disorder. Askham (2022) states that children with ASD exhibit health challenges like having repetitive behaviors such as body movement and banging of the head, combined with the tendency to harm their bodies. Their inability to control their reflexes puts the children at risk of constantly making certain movements that are not common among children without ASD. Unlike children with SPD, ASD is characterized by challenges such as perseverative interests, which is evidenced by their excessive passion for maintaining close attachment to an object and love for routines. While in both SPD and ASD, children experience slow development, ASD comes along with the problem of visual stimming that is characterized by gazing at items and people.

Screen time and Autism

The relationship between screen time and autism is relatively new research that understands the connection between external environmental factors and the problem of ASD. Sainani (2022) states that the research was published by JAMA pediatrics, pointing out that the risk of being diagnosed with autism is 3.5 times higher among infant boys who spend much time glued to the television. According to Kristin Sainani, the research was conducted by using a sample of 84,000 women from different parts of Japan (Harris, 2022). The women were required to fill out survey questions by explaining the number of hours that their children spent watching television. This approach was aimed at understanding the connection between the time spent and the risk of being diagnosed with autism.

From the study, women that reported that their children had more screen time also recorded a high number of children with autism by their third birthday. The research also showed that boys were at a higher risk of being diagnosed with autism compared to girls. However, as was pointed out by Sukhavera, understanding autism spectrum disorder requires extensive and continuous research. Based on this understanding, the research on the impact of watching television on autism was marred by various biases, which calls for additional research. For instance, most women that participated in the research may have failed to consider the under-reporting of screen time, and some may not want to disclose the condition of their children (Harris, 2022). Examining screen time and the problem of autism is not a conclusive approach to research because it fails to incorporate all the scientific parameters that may connect the two variables. Additionally, the study is contrary to a previous study that argued that watching television has an inadequate impact on development factors such as language and visual motor skills.

Conclusion

The conceptualization of autism was contributed by different scholars who dedicated their time to the subject. Although much is not known about Sukhavera, she made a considerable contribution to conceptualizing autism spectrum disorder in 1926 because of her strong experience of dealing with children. As a child psychiatrist, she learned about ASD, which she termed a schizoid personality disorder. Although both ASD and SPD have similar social and emotional challenges, the publication by Sukhavera laid the foundation for more study on different symptoms associated with them, such as gazing and repetitive conditions. The publication by Sukhavera pioneered modern research on ASD, such as the study on the influence of screen time on the risk of autism among infant boys. Although the research on the relationship between screen time and autism was not conclusive because of the bias, it showed the disparity in the issue of ASD and the need for further research on the topic.

Laws and thoughts

While doing my laws in education class I got to read an interesting article about a young man that was diagnosed with autism and anxiety. I was actually surprised to see that beginning at the age of six this child was being secluded for multiple hours for minor offenses. The parents even moved him to a special placement where the teachers were better equipped to work with him. This placement lasted about 3 years before he again was locked in a room and he managed to climb out a window. At this time his parents decided to home school him for a while, but when he missed his classmates too much his parents decided that they would attempt one more time. This of course did not go as planned, he was isolated at least eight more times. More than half the time the parents did not hear this from the school but their son himself. This got me thinking and researching for my knowledge and for my class, how often is this happening? Are there policies in place to stop this? What are the statistics? I had so many questions, I found out how often this is reported. According to a report from NPR, more than 33,000 cases of restraints and seclusion were used in California and Texas alone in the 2007-2008 school year. I found that evidence suggests seclusion and restraint are overly used against children with disabilities and minority children. According to a 2018 report, students with disabilities make up 71 percent of those restrained and 66 percent of those secluded, while African American students make up 27 percent of restrained students and 23 percent of those secluded, even though they make up only 12 and 15 percent of total enrollment, respectively,

Jackie Nowicki, a director at the Government Accountability Office, told National Public Radio in 2019. “Using these methods can create hazardous situations, especially for some of our nation’s most vulnerable children.” How can we prevent this you may ask well, the first step would be understanding the difference between intentional misbehavior and stress responses. If a child is out of control of their emotions or behaviors, it’s often because their nervous system is in fight or flight. At this moment, they need to know they’re not alone and that someone sees their distress. If you’ve resorted to seclusion or restraint, you’ve been missing their calls for help.”

In many cases, seclusion and restraint increase agitated behavior. And most times, it leads to feelings of hopelessness or desperation. If it does appear to decrease agitation, “it’s because the child being secluded or restrained is giving up and losing hope in their fellow human.”

If a student becomes agitated, the best action would be to shift our thinking to” is this child misbehaving, or are they stressed out?” Make sure that you are calm because you need to be capable of providing appropriate support. Then, customize your interactions to whatever will help the child’s nervous system calm down. Try an activity that engages the student’s body, like rocking with the child, putting a gentle hand on their shoulder, or swaying together to calming music. “This isn’t easy, and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach,” But if you experiment to see what helps their body calm down, eventually you’ll see those agitated behaviors melt away.”


(Department of Education, the office of civil rights, 2017)